I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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