I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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