you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
