no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
