So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
