I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Im part way to drunk.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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