We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We don't watch enough power rangers
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
