so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
