if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize