It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize
