I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
