Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
