you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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