Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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