Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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