I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
