nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
