I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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