I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
