I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
