they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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