god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
