I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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