I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
