Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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