Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
