Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
