Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize