I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
