do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just gift wrapped bread.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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