no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize