Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
