Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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