i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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