The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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