But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
In America we eat man semen.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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