I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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