She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am one with the molecules
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
