So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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