How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
