she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
