I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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