Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
