I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
