Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
