it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
