I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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