what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
