I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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