i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
