he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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