I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
