remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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