He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
