Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
