im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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