i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
