So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize