We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize