i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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