I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
