So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
