im six kinds of drunk right now
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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