he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
