I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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