Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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