Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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