Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
