I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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