Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize