I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it hurts more in the daytime
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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