So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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