I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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