You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Small penises have feelings too.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
